a blog by Ellen Davies

Forgive every day

Forgive every day

Recently I read that every day we need to forgive anyone and everyone. This act of forgiving allows us to release any negative energy that may have built up during the day, and it also releases the person we are forgiving. This is a wonderful habit and a lofty goal, but it can bring challenges. 

I read about this in Doreen Virtue’s book, Chakra Clearing: Awakening Your Spiritual Power To Know and Heal.



She offers an affirmation to sever etheric cords: I am willing to release all fear and unforgiveness so that I may experience peace instead of pain.

I love this affirmation. When I am in California, it inspires me. I pray this affirmation, and I feel so good afterwards. In fact, I feel good enough to forgive everyone! I feel all puffed up and magnanimous. Generosity flows through me like water and fills the air like sweet perfume.

And thusly do I float down to the hotel lobby, to the concierge desk. I feel so great, I want to ask her about where I can do some stand-up paddleboarding.

And that’s when I hit the wall. My aura of benevolence doesn’t seem to reach this concierge, a young woman with long hair and fancy fingernails. She doesn’t know anything about SUP and starts digging through a pile of brochures at her desk.

Well, I could have dug through brochures, I think to myself. She doesn’t know what she’s doing. No, stop that negative thought! Remember, I am generous! I forgive everyone! Love for all!

Miss Fancy Fingernails locates the brochure she wants. “If you want, I can call them for you,” she says, giving me a quick once-over. I’m standing here in my yoga pants and tank top, and, because it’s chilly, my denim jacket. Yeah, I’m not a fashion plate today, but this is all I brought. And yeah, you can call them for me, because it’s your job.

I take a deep breath and push away the negative feelings that are creeping into my bliss. I smile and ask her, politely, to please make the call.

Fancy Fingernails picks up the phone. Then she turns to stare at me. She’s talking on the phone and staring right at me. Awkwardly I smile and look away. But now she is taking in my denim jacket. Yeah, it’s old—probably five years old. Wait, no—I’ve had this jacket since… good grief, could I have been wearing this same jacket for ten years? Yikes.

And my yoga pants. They aren’t new, either. They have a funky navy and black pattern. Until just this moment, I thought they were cool. But she’s staring at me as if I were wearing a high-neck, long-sleeved “sister wife” dress. The longer she stares, the faster my self-confidence evaporates. Do I look fat? Have I reached that point in life when yoga pants in public are no longer an option? Should I throw these old clothes away?

Suddenly I don’t want to SUP anymore. This woman has not helped me. She takes down my email address, and from where I stand it looks like she’ll never be able to read it, her handwriting is so bad. That’s what happens when your fingernails are too long, Miss Fancy Pants. I notice she also has a large mole on her upper lip. Maybe get that mole fixed, missy, before you judge me and my years-old yoga pants, and my over-fifty body.

I offer her a lame thanks and go back to my room. What happened to my bliss? I was so happy a few minutes ago, and now she has destroyed me.

I go back to my room and re-read my affirmation. Yeah, just when I thought this was going to be easy, I face a challenge. It isn’t easy to forgive Miss Fancy. But I take a few deep breaths and try anyway. 

I remember the bible verse from Colossians about clothing:

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity” (Col. 3:12–14)

And I do what I’ve always done–I take a few deep breaths and try again.

What challenges have you faced recently? Leave a note in the comments section, I’d love to hear from you.


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2 thoughts on “Forgive every day”

  • I so chuckled at this — fight this daily . I have a quick, short fuse and not a lot of patience! If you are self-conscious, Lord help the rest of us!!

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